No longer bitter

I have been very bitter over the fact that I went through emergency csec for this delivery. I had expected a fast delivery like my first born, and seeing many second time mums in my mummy group having fast and smooth deliveries, I'm feeling even more bitter. Why? Why do I have to go through emergency csec? Why do I have to go through the pain? The trauma? And of course the extra costs!

I was still bitter and once again complained to a group of mummy friends. I was chatting with this mummy who went through csec too as I asked her how long it took for her wound to get better... and the conversation goes:

Me:

I miss natural..  i was looking forward to another round of natural without epi

V sad to hv to go thru csec
But it's me la
Friend:
U went thru immediately admit?
Me:
I see my mummy grp all the second time mums pop v fast n smooth
I feel so bitter why mine not like that
Cos every contractions her heartrate drop.. suspect cord around neck.. so bobian emergency csec
It's the last thing i ever expected..  but i guess no one will ever expect it de
Friend:
Oh.. Haha.. For my girl, I do want natural without epidural but when doc told me best is to go through csect due to her size.i told myself never mind. As long as she can be born safe
Me:
Cord around her 3 times
Friend:
So scary. But everything okay for her?
Me:
Too active i told the massage lady she also shocked say huh ur bb so active
My gynae everytime come see her say her so naughty
Yea ok le..
Now all fine
Friend:
Thanks goodness. That moment is too scary to imagine
Me:
Yea very scary
Friend:
I cannot imagine that kind of moment.. Is like between life and death
Me:
N i was in pain i was almost asking for epi
Then gynae came n say either epi or ga go csec immediately
Make decision now
I was in so much pain i didn't want to make the decision.. then gynae n hubby keep asking epi or ga
Then i initially asked for epi but epi will wait for the epi person to come... then they say ga person already at operating theatre..
Friend:
Good that u choose c sect.. I've a friend's friend who didn't want to go through c sect and insist on natural birth. In the end, the baby could not be save
Me:
So i say ok la ga ga just do it now
I just want to get it over n done w asap
Friend:

Very sad case
Me:

Aww :(

Yea so ok la at least now my girl is safe
Friend:

Ya.. That is crucial

And ur gynae make the right decision

GA faster. Epidural will take time for it to take effect
Me:

Yea
Friend:

Ur hubby must be scare to death too?
Me:

I guess so too

At the end of the conversation I was crying and I went to carry my sleeping baby from the cot, cuddled her and cry. At least my baby's alive, safe and well now. I shall not complain anymore.