Why like that?

My big girl woke up from her nap screaming... perhaps from a bad dream. I was cuddling her and MIL came in said "我抱你..." and my girl didn't go to her, so she said, "你不要嫲嫲，嫲嫲去抱妹妹了。你要不要嫲嫲? 不要嫲嫲，嫲嫲抱妹妹不抱你了!"

Sigh, I'm trying so hard to promote sibling harmony n she's there sowing discord. My biggest worry will be when I go back to work and she keeps saying such nonsense to my girl... =(

Random pics of confinement food

MIL's attempts to pamper me with her cooking...

Milk Ejection

What causes let-down? Often, I could feel the milk supply starts moving when I hear or see a baby cry. Another instance will be after a hot bathe... I'll be rushing against time to get dressed with milk dripping down my tummy and thighs!!

A mummy friend just shared this in our Facebook group -

http://www.lowmilksupply.org/milkejection.shtml

"The role of the milk ejection reflex (let-down) in milk production is indirect yet very important. Milk must be removed from the breast in order to stimulate more milk to be made, but it is not removed easily without the assistance of the milk ejection reflex, where oxytocin causes the muscle-like cells around the milk-making cells (alveoli) to contract and push milk out. The process of milk ejection is both amazing and complex in that it can be triggered both by physical stimulation and mental thoughts or emotions.

Another possible component that is often overlooked is the influence of the fullness of the ducts and alveoli. The principle is similar to the concept of a water balloon. When the balloon is very full and then let go, the water gushes out quickly; when it only has a little bit of water, it comes out more slowly when released. Your milk ejection is like a hand lightly squeezing that water balloon; when your breast is very full, milk tends to come out fast, but if it is only partially full, milk comes out more slowly."

Do check out the link to read more.

Breastmilk jaundice

After today's PD review...

[11:36AM, 10/06/2015] Just now went her jaundice check... I'm having headache all the way zzz

[11:37AM, 10/06/2015] Jaundice went up.. did blood test for testing liver etc other organs.. draw a lot of blood so heart pain sigh

[11:38AM, 10/06/2015] Luckily all good, so Dr Ang concluded it's just breastmilk jaundice.. I asked anything that I eat may affect? Like ginger etc? She said no, is due to hormones, but no alcohol as bad for liver, and cut down on herbs..

Copied and pasted from a Whatsapp conversation.

Breastfeeding nazis

A friend shared this.

I wonder who are the "breastfeeding nazis" she's referring to. I believe all mummies only have the best interest for other mummies when they give advice. Please do not take it personally and definitely not negatively!!

She probably feels that breastfeeding mummies don't understand non-breastfeeding mummies at all, but vice versa, they also don't understand that many many breastfeeding mummies went thru a lot of stress, effort, endurance and hardship to get milk. And all these are on top of the usual post-partum stress and other depressing things that every mother may face during confinement or as a new mother... So when they managed to conquer the difficult period, they just want to share from their own experiences... "try harder will have milk..." I'll say the same too because I tried very very hard to have milk... but of course I will only say this to mummies who want to breastfeed, as a form of encouragement, and not to those who doesn't breastfeed.

I triumphed in breastfeeding simply because I have pro-breastfeeding friends who never stop giving me well-meaning advice and they are ever so encouraging, thus I also want to be as encouraging to the breastfeeding new mummies I know, and help them with as much advice from our experiences as possible. Mothers all only want to help one another cope through the difficult post-partum period, whether breastfeeding or not. But let's do it nicely... no one should be calling another mother weak! Every woman, every pregnancy, every baby, every breast, every mother's circumstance is different and who are we to call another mother weak when we did not go through what she had to go through?

We all have our difficult times as mothers, so please, do not do or say things to upset another mother who's going through difficult times too. I also went through times I cried every time I latched my first born during confinement. I cuddled her to my chest as she wailed in the middle of the night, I cried and apologize to my baby, "sorry baby, mummy has no milk for you... mummy is a lousy mummy..." I cried so much my mother's worried that I would go blind. You won't know how much it hurts unless you've been through it.

Please don't judge. No one has the right to condemn you, whether you are breastfeeding mother or not. There are no nazis in motherhood, only mothers!! I don't know why people want to segregate breastfeeding mummies from non-breastfeeding mummies. What about babywearing mummies from non-babywearing mummies? What about mummies that follow traditional confinement customs and mummies who don't?  What about mummies with confinement ladies and mummies without? "Oh you brought it upon yourself crying in the middle of the night while trying to latch during your confinement because you didn't get a confinement lady to take care of your baby for you. Serves you right that you didn't get to rest like us mummies with confinement ladies."

You get my point? We are all mummies, stop dissing at one another!

Later:

Apparently it's due to this article http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2532940/The-breast-best-obsession-mother-driven-life-This-new-mum-taken-hospital-TWICE-feed-baby-pleas-help-went-unheeded.htmlhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2532940/The-breast-best-obsession-mother-driven-life-This-new-mum-taken-hospital-TWICE-feed-baby-pleas-help-went-unheeded.html

How can we call the mother weak? She's such a poor thing and now she would never get to witness her daughter's milestones and achievements, and her poor daughter will have to grow up without a mother, and her poor husband have to live with the grief of losing the wife and bringing up the girl alone. And it could all be prevented if people gave a hand and not simply brush her condition off or call her weak. =(

Past few days

It has been 13 days since my second girl popped through a cut in my abdomen. There are a lot of things that I have wanted to share here but I couldn't find time to blog at all. I guess that's truly how it's like to be a parent of 2 children... more to juggle, more time on family, and lesser time to indulge on other stuff like blogging etc. I do continue to post on Instagram though, with lots of posts on my confinement food.

MIL has been cooking a huge variety of food for me. In fact, this confinement doesn't feel like confinement at all. MIL will blast the fan at me because the weather's just too atrociously hot! And the meals she cooks are like the usual fare, just with more ginger and stuff. Let me share today's meals:

Today's sumptuous breakfast! Some days I have wholemeal bread with cheese and milo, or hot mee sua soup ^^

Lunch and dinner and fruits ^^ I have brown rice for every lunch and dinner :D

Hubby has been helpful as much as he can, but as usual, when woken up from his sleep, he gets really grumpy. And I get upset too, but I didn't voice out as I know he's tired too as he needs to work, and to drive to work too. And on days of my girl's PD check or my post-natal gynae check, he drove us to and fro. Sometimes I get really upset with him for being so grumpy and unwilling to help in the middle of the night, while sometimes I am really grateful for him to be always there especially to bring us to TMC and then back... it won't be easy without him tirelessly chauffeuring us around. Sometimes I'm upset because I've been through longer nights without sleep with my first girl's confinement, when he wasn't around to help me at all, and now I just want him to help me with a bit and yet he seems to unwilling. And one of my best friends' hubby said that he'd do anything for her confinement because women need to rest enough during confinement to recover fully. I'm pretty sure "enough rest" is something I never get throughout my two confinements! Oh well, there are worse husbands out there of course. I must be grateful and appreciative for mine~ always count my blessings!!

On 28 May, we went back to TMC for my girl's PD check and her jaundice level was once again considered not low and we were advised to either admit her for phototherapy, or rent the equipment home to do it ourselves. My husband decided to rent the phototheraphy lamp and bilibed for 2 nights. I guess he didn't have a good experience when he had to rush to and fro to send me to TMC to visit our first baby when she was admitted. And like most - if not all - new mothers, I cried when my girl had to be admitted to the hospital. However, renting the equipment has its share of pros and cons. The pro is definitely that I can see my baby everyday and latch her everyday. The cons are the blue light that's permanently illuminating my bedroom for 3 days 2 nights, as well as the constant monitoring of my baby, especially to check if her eye mask stayed on.

Then on 2 June, we went back for her PD review. Her jaundice level has dropped from 12.9 to 11.1, but still not good enough... so we have to continue to sun her as much as possible and she'll have enough review next week. It seems to me that she's getting 'yellower' again and I'm really worried that she'll be admitted again next week for her jaundice... I'm praying it won't happen!

Yesterday I finally went back to TMC for my post-natal review, 12 days post-csec, as Dr Tham's ever so popular until I couldn't get an earlier slot as none was available. I cheekily asked him if he stayed nearby and he said no... told him that he seems to be always in tmc lolllll... He removed my bandage and said my csec wound is healing nicely. I was prescribed an expensive scar treatment gel, and even recommended some very expensive scar treatment gel sheet (cica-care) for the csec scar. He said perhaps not everyone bothers because not everyone's as vain as him... hahaha!! He's still so cute as ever... I'm so gonna miss him so much after all my post-natal check ups. Oh and I found out I've lost 5kg... from my pre-preg weight!! Woohoo, way to go~ and need to maintain!! Ahaha~ ^^

C-section

Immediately after I woke up from my csec, I felt nothing but pain in my abdomen. The binder was put on for me and the nurses were putting on the compression socks. All I could do was to mumble "pain... pain... pain.." nonstop as the nurses transferred me to the ward bed and pushed me to the ward where my husband was already waiting for me. It was only back at the ward where I asked my husband where's baby? Is she okay??

The first day was painful like hell!! I could only lie in bed, and adjust bed up or down only... second day was still painful but was made to walk, go to the toilet to pee etc... I could sit up on the bed to receive visiting friends and eat... my friends advised me to get out of bed to walk more, if not I'd be struggling on the day to return home. I still walked like an old woman though, slow and almost hunched down in pain, on the second day as well as the third day when we're going home.

When I came home, I walked around quite a bit... I carry baby, latch her, go to the toilet, bathe myself with the boiled herbal water etc. And slowly it got better. On the fifth day, we went back to TMC for baby's PD check and I could walk without difficulty. By 1 week, most of the pain has gone away and i could function normally... on and off I did get some cramp feeling, like a mixture of muscle cramp, menstrual cramp and contractions kinda feeling deep inside. I whined to my mum over the phone and she said of course there'll be pain inside as the doctor has to cut through so many layers of flesh and muscles to reach the baby, so the layers inside are still healing slowly.

Now I'm 13 days post-csec and feeling absolutely fine. I miss the bump but guess what? One thing I feel super good about is when I wipe my legs after bathing... I could stand on one leg without toppling!! LOL~ but I can't enjoy too long as usually my milk will be dripping down my tummy and thighs nonstop and I'll have to race against time to get dressed and put the nursing pads in place. (>_<)