Dinner

Great time spent with friends last night.

Tremendously grateful that my parents-in-law are always willing to help me babysit my girls.

On a side note, I have changed my Instagram account setting to private. I've shared some links here and there in this blog but unfortunately you can't view the pictures now unless you request to follow my account. This is for two reasons:

1. Privacy for my two young girls as they will grow up to become adults who cherish their own privacy.
2. Privacy for myself as I embark on my overwhelming new journey in the new workplace.

There are a lot to cope for me in this new journey. New workplace, new syllabus, new colleagues, new student profile, new timetable, new trainings, and all these on top of adapting to my 6-month-old role of being a mother of two girls, and continuing to express breast milk for my baby, hopefully for the next 6 months. Wish me all the best.

New post again

Teaching and motherhood has not been a breeze for me. There's been lots of updates that I've been wanting to post, but never gotten down to doing it.

This year has been an extremely turbulent year for me, filled with emotional roller coasters. I've cried on the train, melt down with my boss (and more than once), got terribly depressed over not getting pregnant with number 2 in this year, which was what I really planned to do when I had number 1. After a dragon baby, I want a horse baby, and two years apart seems ideal. My plan wasn't going smooth and my emotions went utterly haywire. From a post-natal check up after number 1, my gynae revealed that I have PCOS which will cause it to be more difficult for me to get pregnant. My number 1 who's conceived naturally was considered a miracle by my gynae. My period didn't come for 5 months which were filled with turbulent emotions and hectic (dreadful) workload, but I wasn't pregnant. Yet I was obsessed with testing with those pee sticks again and again. I decided to see a TCM physician at TMC for fertility issues and I've spent over 1000 bucks on the medication and the acupuncture packages. And not to mention, it's been torturous going for those acupuncture sessions. It's painful and time consuming, plus I gotta rush from work, and I gotta spend bombs on taxis. It's just anything but pleasant. I was sad and emotionally tortured by the fact that I am unlike any other normal women who can just get preggy whenever they wanted to. I feel so unfit. Just before my period finally returned with a vengeance, my TCM physician suggested that I should try IUI or IVF. That mere suggestion shattered me. What is wrong with me?! Why me?! Why is everyone else getting pregnant, but not me?! Even after spending 1000s of hard earned money, and going through such tortures?! Okay, I know there are other women who went through it, but I am already an emotional wreck without having to go through the ordeal. I don't know if I have the resilience to overcome it, and I salute the women who did. In addition, work hasn't been forgiving. I can handle work if that's all that I have to handle, but I cannot handle the emotional stress from the fact that it's getting really difficult for me to get pregnant. I cred at the slightest thing in and outta work. Overall, the year hasn't been nice.

But I'm back.

Drastic changes again

I've posted an entry like this so many times... hohoho~

Yes, an entry that says that probably it's time I close down this blog and embark on another one... except this time I may just go back to one of my old blogs. I have like 10+, no, 20+ blogs to date. I am a mad woman. I am a mad blogger. Blogging since 2002. This is my tenth year blogging, and nope, I haven't gotten famous from blogging because I'm just not that good and don't have that much free time on hand. And I'm just so fickle-minded, and kept switching from one blog to another.

I have blogged about myself in general, my relationships, my family and friends, my jobs, make up and cosmetics, cooking and food, weight loss (or the failure of which), vacations and oversea trips, random thoughts, random dreams, teaching and now motherhood... and I've been whining and ranting in my blogs. A lot!! Then currently I feel like going back to my foodie blog. Because I love to take photos of food! Teehee...

And because... who reads this blog? Hahaha...

Yup if I have the time to revamp my old food blog, I'll be back to share the link ^^

Random Wednesday

Last year this time, I was probably mambo-ing? Now, mambo has become history, both in Zouk and in my life... when you hit a new milestone, something gotta go and become part of your life's history, just like your first job, your rebellious years, your favourite vacation, and those good old school days.

Just my personal thought

A friend posted on Facebook a news article about Singapore's cleanliness behind other asia countries. And he wrote, "因為會亂丟垃圾的都是被邀請來新加坡的！哈哈哈…"

And I commented:
在N年前，我们还是数一数二的清洁花园城市。曾经，人也比较有礼貌，该礼让的会礼让。现在人是多了，却在开倒车。曾经这是个能安居乐业的好地方。现在却天天面对着拥挤的车厢，自私或没礼貌的人，垃圾也多了，日子也难开心起来。我很想念小时候的新加坡。感觉比较平安，自在，清新，舒服。国家的却是发达了，但生活越来越紧张，不安，不自在，不开心。是好事吗？Hmmm, 只是我个人感想罢了。Heehee...



Just a personal opinion.

One day in future

There will come a day when all the angry girlfriends will ditch their husbands and come live together! Because seriously, if women can have babies own our own, there is certainly no need for any man. Man only sleeps and eats and play games and watch anime and does no chores although they work and earn the dough, while woman works too and takes care of home and takes care of children. You think women doesn't want to sleep more and relax more? Women are just more committed to the kids, the well being of the family and the living environment. If only men can make themselves more useful... Can't men do more besides donating the sperm and perhaps paying the bills?

I know there are better men who are involved in family and fatherhood, like my lovely father. Men, don't bash me for this seemingly absurd entry. It's just a thought after all the fussing about husbands with friends. Turn out we've all gotten ourselves a bad bargain... Now can only suck thumb, bite the tongue (or end up nagging nonstop) and press on while having one another as confidantes.

For parents and non-parents

Must read. Every single word of this article:
http://www.askdrsears.com/?q=topics/fussy-baby/7-things-parents-should-know-about-babys-cries

Often, you hear this comment coming from a man, a single or a non-parent: "Don't carry the baby everytime the baby cries. Just let the baby cry it out."

I gotta admit I was guilty of giving such remarks too. But now I know I can't. And I've learnt that a mother is tuned to her baby's cries. Leaving the baby to cry makes a mother very uneasy.

From the article in the link above: "Responding to baby's cries is biologically correct. A mother is biologically programmed to give a nurturant response to her newborn's cries and not to restrain herself."

Furthermore, researches have shown that leaving babies to cry will result in babies with high stress:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2149060/Babies-left-unhappy-hours-stress-hormone-remains-high.html

And excessive crying is harmful to the baby in the long run:
http://www.askdrsears.com/?q=topics%2Ffussy-baby%2Fscience-says-excessive-crying-could-be-harmful

It is also pretty often that a non-parent gets pretty annoyed when a parent-friend doesn't heed any well-meaning advice. The former will think why is the latter trying to act like a "know-it-all". Just look at those comments below this blog entry:
http://jasongood.net/365/2011/06/day-166-to-all-my-friends-without-children/

Oh trust me, I've been through that too. In fact it seems like only yesterday when I thought that way. But wow, how time flies, and now I'm a 2-month-old new mother. I can tell you very frankly that a mother may not know it all, but she definitely knows it better. You can't even try to put yourself in the shoes of a mother. You have to be a mother and experience being a mother to feel it and to understand it.

And now I finally feel it and understand it... never judge a mother unless you are one. But wait, who am I to tell you never? i was like that myself too. And this definitely is one thing that "the men won't get it". That, never. Because motherhood is a privilege that only women get to experience and enjoy. ^^

Envy

Envious of all those that get to live in their own home truly belonging to them, have a say of what goes into the storeroom or the kitchen cabinets, and don't have to live with in-laws.

On one hand I appreciate my mother-in-law for doing all the chores, on the other hand I envy those who get to live on their own with their own family... No I'm not just envious, I'm super jealous!

Acrobatic

When you have a baby, suddenly you become very acrobatic and learned to do everything with one hand while balancing baby with the other...

Time flies like crazy

Time really flies!! All I do each day is feeding baby, coaxing baby and changing nappies and already there's no time left for other stuff and suddenly baby is almost 7 weeks old! Omg time flies pass soooooo fast, it's freaking scary!!

Random thought

Old place of 19 years has perfectly nice tiles as good as new, while new place of 5 years has tiles that popped up and requiring repair...  The kitchen cabinet in this 5-year-old kitchen looks more worn off than the 19-year-old kitchen cabinet at my parents' place. My beloved old phone of 3 years recently died. Will I be able to get myself another phone that can last 3 years? 生活中小小的插曲，引发了一连串小小的感想：

新衣哪有旧衣好？新家哪有旧家好？新电话哪有旧电话好？为什么新的东西都比旧的容易坏？科技变发达了，人也变聪明了，东西变贵了，商人更是变奸了。。。大家的埋怨也随之越来越多了。我爱新科技，却讨厌不耐的东西。人变矛盾了，储蓄越来越少了，钱越花越多了。不知不觉中，东西越买越多了。买上瘾了，却发现买了都是一堆没用的东西。

First published in Multiply.com and migrated over here on 20 August 2012.