Just about today

Hee, I had an almost real conversation with baby today! Baby was sleeping on my tummy in the afternoon. I cleared my throat and she immediately looked up at me with her cute sleepy eyes. And I asked, "oops, was it very noisy?" And she promptly replied with a knowing "Mm" and went back to sleep. How cute!! I was so delighted with the short conversation with my little darling... it sounds almost like a real conversation!

I tried to let baby use the potty today. I saw that she was the "I want to poo" action as I was changing her wet nappy, so I took the potty and put her on top... she was quietly pushing for a while and then started wailing... heartbroken, I quickly settle her back onto the changing mat and wrap her little bum in her nappy, and immediately she pooped on the nappy... and it's time to change nappy again. (>_<)

Lastly, a little whining. This afternoon when I opened the door to dump a soiled nappy (baby pees and poos a lot a day) into the nappy laundry pail, baby started crying and MIL immediately went into my room and carried baby away. (-_-) She asked me if baby's hungry. I told her that I was latching baby halfway when she pooped and cried, so I changed her nappy... and she just said "oh baby drink enough already lah, let's go and play with grandpa." and brought baby over to PIL's room. I wasn't very willing for her to just bring baby away from me like that (and I don't like it when FIL "play"/"talk to" with baby) but I didn't want to be deemed the rude DIL who stopped PILs from playing with own grandchild... although they get to carry and play with her every morning and every evening/night. So even though I was really unhappy, I had to close one eye and keep it to myself.

Furthermore, I cannot understand why FIL can't just treat baby like a normal human being. He always likes to "talk to" baby in some irritating noises, like she's an animal or some idiot, and that totally pisses me off. And once again, close one eye. Urgh! Okay, I did tell them not to "ang-goo-goo" to baby and talk normal instead of baby talk... now I don't hear any "ang-goo-goo" but it's worse! He likes to "woo-ooo-ooo" to baby.  Is that even normal?! *rolls eyes* Did I do anything wrong? Should I have just let him "ang-goo-goo"? I'm tired of having to tell them what to do. I would just tell my own parents off, but these are not my parents. And living with my in-laws has been peaceful in these 4 years so far simply because (1) I appreciate what my MIL does for me and the family and (2) I close one eye as much as I can and try not to be fussy with them.

Many people start to have problem with in-laws after having kids. Now I totally understand why. I want my kid to be brought up MY WAY (hey I never interfere when YOU brought up YOUR kids!) but there's just so many individuals getting themselves involved in bringing up MY kid and if we couldn't see eye-to-eye it's just way too frustrating for me. Am I being too selfish to want things MY way? I don't think so. I'm just being a mother.

Freaking unhappy

I cried four times today and am feeling freaking miserable.

For parents and non-parents

Must read. Every single word of this article:
http://www.askdrsears.com/?q=topics/fussy-baby/7-things-parents-should-know-about-babys-cries

Often, you hear this comment coming from a man, a single or a non-parent: "Don't carry the baby everytime the baby cries. Just let the baby cry it out."

I gotta admit I was guilty of giving such remarks too. But now I know I can't. And I've learnt that a mother is tuned to her baby's cries. Leaving the baby to cry makes a mother very uneasy.

From the article in the link above: "Responding to baby's cries is biologically correct. A mother is biologically programmed to give a nurturant response to her newborn's cries and not to restrain herself."

Furthermore, researches have shown that leaving babies to cry will result in babies with high stress:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2149060/Babies-left-unhappy-hours-stress-hormone-remains-high.html

And excessive crying is harmful to the baby in the long run:
http://www.askdrsears.com/?q=topics%2Ffussy-baby%2Fscience-says-excessive-crying-could-be-harmful

It is also pretty often that a non-parent gets pretty annoyed when a parent-friend doesn't heed any well-meaning advice. The former will think why is the latter trying to act like a "know-it-all". Just look at those comments below this blog entry:
http://jasongood.net/365/2011/06/day-166-to-all-my-friends-without-children/

Oh trust me, I've been through that too. In fact it seems like only yesterday when I thought that way. But wow, how time flies, and now I'm a 2-month-old new mother. I can tell you very frankly that a mother may not know it all, but she definitely knows it better. You can't even try to put yourself in the shoes of a mother. You have to be a mother and experience being a mother to feel it and to understand it.

And now I finally feel it and understand it... never judge a mother unless you are one. But wait, who am I to tell you never? i was like that myself too. And this definitely is one thing that "the men won't get it". That, never. Because motherhood is a privilege that only women get to experience and enjoy. ^^

Today

Posted two entries earlier today via iphone. Now I'm here to type what I've recorded today. Today my little precious is 8 weeks and 4 days old. And here goes my baby's schedule for today...

0525 latch then sleep
0617 latch then sleep
0710 latch then sleep
0745 bathe and pee
0815 sleep
0842 latch
0920 latch
0928 poo, change nappy and continue latching
1000 sleep
1040 woke up, pee, change nappy
1045 latch
1100 sleep
1110 woke up, pee, change nappy
1120 latch
1135 sleep
1220 woke up
1250 pee, change nappy
1305 latch
1330 pee, change nappy
1340 latch then sleep
1430 woke up, pee, change nappy
1440 latch
1515 sleep, I get to wash my pump parts
1550 latch, poo, change nappy and continue latching then play
1645 pee, change nappy
1450 latch
1700 sleep
1715 poo, change nappy
1730 sleep
1810 I prepare my dinner (cooked by MIL)
1815 pee, change nappy
1820 latch
1826 poo, change nappy, carry baby and eat dinner
1840 poo, change nappy
1845 carry baby and eat dinner
1900 latch
1915 poo, wipe baby
1940 baby cranky, carry and coax baby
2000 sleep
2010 woke up and cranky, hubby carry, I bathe
2035 I carry baby after bathing and continue to coax her
2110 sleep

And finally! Yay, my darling baby sleeps earlier than usual today!! :D PILs not in now as they went to spend the night at SIL's. This morning they went to fetch little nephew who's sick and came back. I had to hide in the room with baby all the time. As he's on 2-day MC, PILs brought him home after dinner (before 6pm) and stayed overnight there to take care of him tomorrow.

My little precious will be having her jab tomorrow. Hope she'll cope well!

Surf net

Was surfing a bit while baby's sleeping. Two areas of concern: baby fever and working out.

Bringing my little precious out for her jab tomorrow and as it's common to develop a fever after immunization, I did a bit of reading up on baby fever and what to do. Here are two links to share:
http://www.kkh.com.sg/HealthPedia/Pages/ChildhoodIllnessesFever.aspx
http://www.ehow.com/how_4549370_treat-babys-fever-medication.html

And of course trimming away that disgusting flabby tummy will always be an area of concern for all mummies! And unfortunately there's little time to go out for a jog or play some sports as I'm confined at home latching baby full time. What's worse? I'm almost always sedentary as I'm always latching baby in bed and playing with baby in bed too! My only workout is when I have to carry baby and walk around with her when she gets cranky before bedtime. Since I'm "in bed" most of the time, I googled "exercise in bed" and found these to share:
http://m.shape.com/blogs/fit-list-jay-cardiello/get-total-body-workout-bed
http://m.voices.yahoo.com/tummy-exercises-bed-2322814.html

I'm looking at workouts but frankly, I'm starving right now!! With baby asleep it's time to seek dinner.

Envy

Envious of all those that get to live in their own home truly belonging to them, have a say of what goes into the storeroom or the kitchen cabinets, and don't have to live with in-laws.

On one hand I appreciate my mother-in-law for doing all the chores, on the other hand I envy those who get to live on their own with their own family... No I'm not just envious, I'm super jealous!

Tired

One of those days when I cried several times a day. Plus my wrists ache, my arms ache, my shoulder blades ache, my back ache and now even my ribs are feeling achy. I'm already sleeping so little and now I sometimes feel so uncomfy with all the aching that I have difficulty falling asleep...

Typically I sleep at 11+ at night, wake up once or twice for an hour to latch, and finally get outta bed at 6+ to 7 in the morning. And I seldom get to nap in the day as baby hardly sleeps in the day... If she does, I usually have to rush a meal or something, and her little naps usually only last around 30 minutes?!

One word: tired. No, make it two: very tired.

Piles postpartum

I'm having this:

http://www.babycenter.com/0_postpartum-hemorrhoids_11708.bc?page=1

There's lots of blood lost during bowel movement and it hurts so much! :( I've seen a doc and am on medication now... Seeing the toilet bowl stained red with blood is quite a harrowing experience.

First nail cut

My little precious is 7 weeks old today and she just had her first ever manicure session this morning. Had wanted to cut her fingernails when she's 6 weeks old... 1 week late, but nonetheless, I'm happy and proud to successfully cut her nails all on my own!

I cut the nails on her right hand first when she was sleeping, and she woke up when I started cutting the nails on her left hand. Had wanted to take timeout and continue later but fortunately I managed to clip all her nails before she started wailing for milk. Phew~

Now she can ditch her mittens and start grabbing things!

And now, mummy needs her manicure session too!

Acrobatic

When you have a baby, suddenly you become very acrobatic and learned to do everything with one hand while balancing baby with the other...

Time flies like crazy

Time really flies!! All I do each day is feeding baby, coaxing baby and changing nappies and already there's no time left for other stuff and suddenly baby is almost 7 weeks old! Omg time flies pass soooooo fast, it's freaking scary!!

Cried again

When a day is emo, it just gets emo all the way... An emo day is never a good day.

Baby woke up as I was typing the previous entry... She hardly slept actually. She was tired and cranky yet refused to sleep and constantly wants to be latched in the day. Just now after changing her diaper I was starving so I left her to get lunch in the dining room and she started wailing away shortly. I probably rushed through lunch and a toilet break in a couple of minutes or three. But when I was back in the room she was wailing so bitterly, it probably felt like forever to her. Seeing the poor baby cry like this, I was so heartbroken I broke down and cried too :'(

She's finally sleeping now, but not in deep sleep and she's still latching intermittently on and off in her sleep as she keeps making noise and searching for her food source.

I guess it's all my fault to let her treat me like the ultimate pacifier. But she rejects the various pacifiers we bought and tried on her. She cried so madly when we stuffed a pacifier into her mouth. And like above, well I just can't bear to see her cry for long. That will almost definitely make me cry too. In the end, I always give in to latching her and well... Let that be. It's a moment to cherish, as I mentioned in my previous entry... It won't last for long. The constant latching is killing my back and my arms and makes me so tired, but seeing the satisfaction in her adorable little face makes everything worthwhile.

The tiny little angelic being is turning my world totally upside down and turning me into an emotional wreck over and over again. Yes, motherhood is indeed an overwhelming experience for me.

Emo again

This morning I was latching as usual, until baby fell asleep in my arms and I was cuddling her and watching her beautiful sleeping expressions. It was a lovely moment and I started thinking to myself:

Although these days are tiring and difficult and I'm extremely exhausted from the constant latching, I really gotta cherish every single moment, and I'm doing that right now. We all know time flies. And in no time, she will no longer be wanting my cuddles and as she grows older she will no longer be needing me... no matter how much I love her and how much effort I have put in now to nurture her and how much pain I have gone through for her.

I'm all emo again and with those thoughts I cuddled her and cried. I never knew I have this much capacity for love. I never knew I can love someone this much. Motherhood indeed is an overwhelming experience.

What I've done so far today

Today she's 5 weeks and 5 days old.

And here's what I've done in the past 12 hours, excluding toilet breaks.

0410-0430 latch left
0435-0455 latch right
0530-0540 latch left
0725-0740 latch right
0830-0840 latch left
0845-0900 breakfast
0910-0950 latch right (she fell asleep twice)
1010-1050 latch left (read her a story in between)
1135-1215 latch right
1240-1255 latch left
1300-1310 latch right
1310-1440 napped with baby
1440-1520 latch left
1535-1550 latch right

And now I'm typing this entry on my phone as she lies beside me, wide awake.

These are the two books I bought before she popped... Was reading her one earlier today ^^

Wanted to read her the other one but she started wailing for milk again! ><

That's life of a new mama... and she's wailing again. Oh, she soiled her cloth diaper. Time to change, tata!