Drastic changes again

I've posted an entry like this so many times... hohoho~

Yes, an entry that says that probably it's time I close down this blog and embark on another one... except this time I may just go back to one of my old blogs. I have like 10+, no, 20+ blogs to date. I am a mad woman. I am a mad blogger. Blogging since 2002. This is my tenth year blogging, and nope, I haven't gotten famous from blogging because I'm just not that good and don't have that much free time on hand. And I'm just so fickle-minded, and kept switching from one blog to another.

I have blogged about myself in general, my relationships, my family and friends, my jobs, make up and cosmetics, cooking and food, weight loss (or the failure of which), vacations and oversea trips, random thoughts, random dreams, teaching and now motherhood... and I've been whining and ranting in my blogs. A lot!! Then currently I feel like going back to my foodie blog. Because I love to take photos of food! Teehee...

And because... who reads this blog? Hahaha...

Yup if I have the time to revamp my old food blog, I'll be back to share the link ^^

All by myself

"When you pushed out a baby, you realized suddenly you are wonder woman and you can tackle anything!!"

I just told that to my friend, who's marveling about how I could bring baby out in a stroller and take train to a friend's place, all by myself.

Well, I never knew I could do it, but today I did it! I just did it!

And I took the elevators a whooping 14 times today! WOW!!

1. Home to ground level
2. Ground level to LRT concourse level
3. LRT concourse level to platform level, took LRT
4. Reached MRT station, LRT platform level to concourse level
5. Concourse level to NEL platform level, took MRT
6. NEL platform level to concourse level, change MRT line
7. Concourse level to EWL platform level, took MRT
8. Reached destination, EWL platform level to concourse level
9. Concourse level to ground level, walk to friend's house and crossed 3 roads
10. Ground level to friend's house
11. Friend's house to ground level, hubby fetch me to my parents' place
12. Ground level to my parents' place
13. My parents' place to ground level, going home
14. Ground level to home... home sweet home!

Photo Friday

This morning, I tried to let baby sit on the sofa and took this shot. Love the effect of it, looks like studio photography. Haha~

Just now my uncle n aunt came to visit and brought me lunch and fresh fruits. :) When I let them carry my little one, she started crying, kept looking at me with longing eyes while huge beads of tears rolled down her cheeks. My uncle n aunt were saying she's only 3+ months and already so sticky to me, then I can prepare to quit... how to go back to work next year with her like that? ><

Here's my lunch: yummy mock fish chop rice!

My little darling has become very sensitive to my camera (my iphone) and will always look when I wanna take a shot, even when she's busy with her thumb, haha. ^^

Hair dropping like crazy

I only ran my hand through my hair once and this much hair came out along with my fingers. This is depressing!!

Random Wednesday

Last year this time, I was probably mambo-ing? Now, mambo has become history, both in Zouk and in my life... when you hit a new milestone, something gotta go and become part of your life's history, just like your first job, your rebellious years, your favourite vacation, and those good old school days.

Nursing rooms experiences

I have always been googling reviews of nursing rooms in the various shopping malls that I'm planning to go to. Those blog entries really help me a lot. These two are the ones that I prefer to most: this & this =)

Here, I am not doing a review as I am just not that good at gauging the conditions... however I'm gonna share the experiences I have in the various nursing rooms that I've been to so far.

Compass Point:

The first ever nursing room that I've visited. Spacious diaper changing and nursing room. 2 diaper changing stations and 2 individual cubicles that can be locked. Two persons can be seated inside comfortably, along with the stroller inside. I have nursed here a few times and so far so good.

Isetan @ NEX:

I haven't nursed here. In fact, I was here alone (while waiting for my colleagues to catch up over lunch on Tuesday) but I just wanted to check out the nursing rooms as I've read good reviews from the other blog entries that I've seen. Spacious with 2 individual nursing cubicles, each comes with an armchair and a small table.

Takashimaya level B2:

I was there today with hubby and baby. Baby pooed while on the way to Takashimaya, so I quickly searched the location of the nursing rooms in Takashimaya while still in car. We parked our car at level B3 and went straight to the nursing room in level B2 to change her diaper. There are 2 individual nursing rooms, each with one armchair and also each with one drop-down nursing station.

Takashimaya level 3:

After our lunch, baby seems hungry and it was 3 hours after I last nursed her, so we went to check out the nursing room in level 3. The cubicle cannot be locked and has only a curtain which makes me feel very insecure. I put the stroller right at the curtain and I thought I heard someone came to the curtain and left, probably upon seeing my stroller the person knows the cubicle is occupied. There's a sign that says no males are allowed at the nursing cubicle, and ample diaper changing stations at the other side, with chairs and benches for family or friends who are waiting while the baby is being nursed.

Below, bought this for baby at Takashimaya... we bought a playard for baby and several Christmas gifts for hubby's nephews and for my gift exchange sessions coming up, and got a $10 voucher that will expire in 3 days. It is only valid in the children's department and we are definitely not coming back to Takashimaya anytime soon, so we shopped around and I decided to buy another cloth book for baby. :) This is her second cloth book, her first one on counting and numbers was bought at Kiddy Palace.

Lastly, something to share... taken at the clinic while waiting to see my baby's PD, some weeks ago. =)

It says:
One hundred years from now... it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove, but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a CHILD.

Of pacifier and frozen milk

My baby dislikes the pacifier and prefers her thumb and forefinger a million times more! She always ditch the pacifier that I insert into her mouth and puts her thumb AND forefinger into her mouth instead!

I have many bags of milk in the freezer... but now my baby only wants fresh milk...

I always latch her when I'm with her but at times when I'm not around, I'll have to pump in the morning (when I wake up engorged and can get over 100 ml per side) and keep my milk in the fridge for my mother-in-law or hubby to bottle feed her when I'm out. She totally rejects the frozen milk so I'm at a lost of what to do with the 20+ bags of milk in the freezer!

Photos of the day

Yesterday we went out for dinner with hubby's family and baby's grandaunt's family. She was dressed up in this really pretty top that we received as gift. I love it so much I wish I could fit in it too!

My baby was sneezing a lot yesterday with clear mucus and we could hear her heavy breathing due to her stuffy nose. So I brought her to the clinic downstairs and the doc gave her these:

She didn't cry at all when I used the nasal spray and decongestant drop on her, my good little girl. :) But she wasn't all that good when I tried to replace her fist with Sophie in her mouth. She loves sucking on her fist and decided that her BFF Sophie can just be there to accompany her unharmed.

She was good with all those spraying into her nose, but she started screaming away when I put her on her tummy. She's 3 months old but hasn't been on her tummy much as she hates it, so I just left her on her tummy and continued to encourage her... finally she stopped making noise and settled down, so I let Sophie give her a good back massage.

It was so good that eventually she fell asleep. Sophie was also there to sing her a little lullaby into her ears. Heh.

I may be making some drastic changes to this blog. I dunno how soon or if it'll ever happen, but do look forward to it!

Baby sleeping bag project

I'm back. I have so much I wanna share. Everyday I made up my entry in my mind, full of stories of my days with my baby, and yet at the end of the day I could never find time to come type out each entry that I wanted to share. Alas, this motherhood diary will never be complete with all the thoughts that I wanted to keep.

Anyway I'm here because I'm doing a research on baby sleeping bag (or sleeping sack) patterns. Yup patterns, for sewing. My darling baby keeps kicking her swaddle all over and sometimes I even find it next to her head. So I worry that one day she may grab it and cover her face/head... and it will be more dangerous to cover her with a blanket so that will never be an option. I started looking at baby sleeping bags but they are either too thick for our warm weather (and I sleep without aircon), or super freaking expensive (for those "suitable for tropical weather").

I wonder how that mere pieces of cloth stitched together can ever end up so highly priced but well, many baby stuff are priced to empty loving parents' pockets. Right? So I thought may be I could start making one for her... just try. May be. With material of my choice. And if it worked I may just make somemore and may even make for friends! How about that? But well... me being myself. I'm always  too busy to start doing things that I wanted to do inside my mind. Writing blog entries included.

Anyway just a head start, I founded some links with patterns that I can use. Gonna bookmark them here in this entry, and share with others who may be interested in making their own.

http://smalldreamfactory.blogspot.sg/2011/11/free-pattern-baby-sleeping-bag.html
http://www.favoritethings.net/patterns/children/hushabye_baby
http://www.sleepingbaby.net/jan/Baby/sleepsack.html
http://made-of-cloth.blogspot.sg/2011/05/how-to-make-toddler-sleep-sac-without.html
http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=271822.msg3070131#msg3070131
http://withatangledskein.blogspot.sg/2008/02/sew-sewmaking-fleece-sleep-sack.html
http://www.luvinthemommyhood.com/2010/06/dress-shirt-sleep-sack-tutorial-with.html

(The last one is amazing! You can do it with any unwanted shirt from your hubby, your dad or dad-in-law, your bro or bro-in-law etc. It's good for our weather, save on buying new fabrics and buttons or zippers, recycle old material, and really sweet too!)

Okay, this is definitely one project which I dunno if I'd ever get started! And if you come across any cheap sleeping sacks available in Singapore or online, please please please leave me a comment and let me know. I'll really appreciate the gesture. :)

PS. If I'm ever too free (NEVER!) I may even start on this, this, this or this!!

Very very pissed

I am very very very very very very very very very very very very very pissed with my husband!!

So pissed that I brought baby out and slept in the living room. And he hasn't even realized because he's still sleeping like a dead log!!!

Just my personal thought

A friend posted on Facebook a news article about Singapore's cleanliness behind other asia countries. And he wrote, "因為會亂丟垃圾的都是被邀請來新加坡的！哈哈哈…"

And I commented:
在N年前，我们还是数一数二的清洁花园城市。曾经，人也比较有礼貌，该礼让的会礼让。现在人是多了，却在开倒车。曾经这是个能安居乐业的好地方。现在却天天面对着拥挤的车厢，自私或没礼貌的人，垃圾也多了，日子也难开心起来。我很想念小时候的新加坡。感觉比较平安，自在，清新，舒服。国家的却是发达了，但生活越来越紧张，不安，不自在，不开心。是好事吗？Hmmm, 只是我个人感想罢了。Heehee...



Just a personal opinion.

One day in future

There will come a day when all the angry girlfriends will ditch their husbands and come live together! Because seriously, if women can have babies own our own, there is certainly no need for any man. Man only sleeps and eats and play games and watch anime and does no chores although they work and earn the dough, while woman works too and takes care of home and takes care of children. You think women doesn't want to sleep more and relax more? Women are just more committed to the kids, the well being of the family and the living environment. If only men can make themselves more useful... Can't men do more besides donating the sperm and perhaps paying the bills?

I know there are better men who are involved in family and fatherhood, like my lovely father. Men, don't bash me for this seemingly absurd entry. It's just a thought after all the fussing about husbands with friends. Turn out we've all gotten ourselves a bad bargain... Now can only suck thumb, bite the tongue (or end up nagging nonstop) and press on while having one another as confidantes.

What a cranky day

Baby was cranky in the morning after her bathe... Then she was finally okay. I had lunch and my parents-in-law went out.

My colleagues came to visit and baby was enjoying herself for a while, then she got cranky again. My colleagues felt bad for disturbing her sleep, although I told them they didn't, and they left shortly.

Baby continued to be super cranky the rest of the afternoon and I was really on the verge of falling asleep as I cuddled her in bed, but she just kept screaming her lungs out and I had to carry her and walk around.

Last night she slept near midnight and woke up at 4+ in the morning today. I'm sure that she's tired too as she slept as little as me (that's not counting the few naps she had in my arms)... and I am seriously feeling burnt out.

Furthermore hubby's not home last night and even now, he's not home yet. Baby was cranky all the way till night and i couldn't have a decent dinner as I was home alone with her and cuddling her to pacify her. I'm still home alone now with baby who has finally fallen into deep slumber. Yes! My turn to snooze... Lying in bed now while updating this. Good night!

Just about today

Hee, I had an almost real conversation with baby today! Baby was sleeping on my tummy in the afternoon. I cleared my throat and she immediately looked up at me with her cute sleepy eyes. And I asked, "oops, was it very noisy?" And she promptly replied with a knowing "Mm" and went back to sleep. How cute!! I was so delighted with the short conversation with my little darling... it sounds almost like a real conversation!

I tried to let baby use the potty today. I saw that she was the "I want to poo" action as I was changing her wet nappy, so I took the potty and put her on top... she was quietly pushing for a while and then started wailing... heartbroken, I quickly settle her back onto the changing mat and wrap her little bum in her nappy, and immediately she pooped on the nappy... and it's time to change nappy again. (>_<)

Lastly, a little whining. This afternoon when I opened the door to dump a soiled nappy (baby pees and poos a lot a day) into the nappy laundry pail, baby started crying and MIL immediately went into my room and carried baby away. (-_-) She asked me if baby's hungry. I told her that I was latching baby halfway when she pooped and cried, so I changed her nappy... and she just said "oh baby drink enough already lah, let's go and play with grandpa." and brought baby over to PIL's room. I wasn't very willing for her to just bring baby away from me like that (and I don't like it when FIL "play"/"talk to" with baby) but I didn't want to be deemed the rude DIL who stopped PILs from playing with own grandchild... although they get to carry and play with her every morning and every evening/night. So even though I was really unhappy, I had to close one eye and keep it to myself.

Furthermore, I cannot understand why FIL can't just treat baby like a normal human being. He always likes to "talk to" baby in some irritating noises, like she's an animal or some idiot, and that totally pisses me off. And once again, close one eye. Urgh! Okay, I did tell them not to "ang-goo-goo" to baby and talk normal instead of baby talk... now I don't hear any "ang-goo-goo" but it's worse! He likes to "woo-ooo-ooo" to baby.  Is that even normal?! *rolls eyes* Did I do anything wrong? Should I have just let him "ang-goo-goo"? I'm tired of having to tell them what to do. I would just tell my own parents off, but these are not my parents. And living with my in-laws has been peaceful in these 4 years so far simply because (1) I appreciate what my MIL does for me and the family and (2) I close one eye as much as I can and try not to be fussy with them.

Many people start to have problem with in-laws after having kids. Now I totally understand why. I want my kid to be brought up MY WAY (hey I never interfere when YOU brought up YOUR kids!) but there's just so many individuals getting themselves involved in bringing up MY kid and if we couldn't see eye-to-eye it's just way too frustrating for me. Am I being too selfish to want things MY way? I don't think so. I'm just being a mother.

Freaking unhappy

I cried four times today and am feeling freaking miserable.

For parents and non-parents

Must read. Every single word of this article:
http://www.askdrsears.com/?q=topics/fussy-baby/7-things-parents-should-know-about-babys-cries

Often, you hear this comment coming from a man, a single or a non-parent: "Don't carry the baby everytime the baby cries. Just let the baby cry it out."

I gotta admit I was guilty of giving such remarks too. But now I know I can't. And I've learnt that a mother is tuned to her baby's cries. Leaving the baby to cry makes a mother very uneasy.

From the article in the link above: "Responding to baby's cries is biologically correct. A mother is biologically programmed to give a nurturant response to her newborn's cries and not to restrain herself."

Furthermore, researches have shown that leaving babies to cry will result in babies with high stress:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2149060/Babies-left-unhappy-hours-stress-hormone-remains-high.html

And excessive crying is harmful to the baby in the long run:
http://www.askdrsears.com/?q=topics%2Ffussy-baby%2Fscience-says-excessive-crying-could-be-harmful

It is also pretty often that a non-parent gets pretty annoyed when a parent-friend doesn't heed any well-meaning advice. The former will think why is the latter trying to act like a "know-it-all". Just look at those comments below this blog entry:
http://jasongood.net/365/2011/06/day-166-to-all-my-friends-without-children/

Oh trust me, I've been through that too. In fact it seems like only yesterday when I thought that way. But wow, how time flies, and now I'm a 2-month-old new mother. I can tell you very frankly that a mother may not know it all, but she definitely knows it better. You can't even try to put yourself in the shoes of a mother. You have to be a mother and experience being a mother to feel it and to understand it.

And now I finally feel it and understand it... never judge a mother unless you are one. But wait, who am I to tell you never? i was like that myself too. And this definitely is one thing that "the men won't get it". That, never. Because motherhood is a privilege that only women get to experience and enjoy. ^^

Today

Posted two entries earlier today via iphone. Now I'm here to type what I've recorded today. Today my little precious is 8 weeks and 4 days old. And here goes my baby's schedule for today...

0525 latch then sleep
0617 latch then sleep
0710 latch then sleep
0745 bathe and pee
0815 sleep
0842 latch
0920 latch
0928 poo, change nappy and continue latching
1000 sleep
1040 woke up, pee, change nappy
1045 latch
1100 sleep
1110 woke up, pee, change nappy
1120 latch
1135 sleep
1220 woke up
1250 pee, change nappy
1305 latch
1330 pee, change nappy
1340 latch then sleep
1430 woke up, pee, change nappy
1440 latch
1515 sleep, I get to wash my pump parts
1550 latch, poo, change nappy and continue latching then play
1645 pee, change nappy
1450 latch
1700 sleep
1715 poo, change nappy
1730 sleep
1810 I prepare my dinner (cooked by MIL)
1815 pee, change nappy
1820 latch
1826 poo, change nappy, carry baby and eat dinner
1840 poo, change nappy
1845 carry baby and eat dinner
1900 latch
1915 poo, wipe baby
1940 baby cranky, carry and coax baby
2000 sleep
2010 woke up and cranky, hubby carry, I bathe
2035 I carry baby after bathing and continue to coax her
2110 sleep

And finally! Yay, my darling baby sleeps earlier than usual today!! :D PILs not in now as they went to spend the night at SIL's. This morning they went to fetch little nephew who's sick and came back. I had to hide in the room with baby all the time. As he's on 2-day MC, PILs brought him home after dinner (before 6pm) and stayed overnight there to take care of him tomorrow.

My little precious will be having her jab tomorrow. Hope she'll cope well!

Surf net

Was surfing a bit while baby's sleeping. Two areas of concern: baby fever and working out.

Bringing my little precious out for her jab tomorrow and as it's common to develop a fever after immunization, I did a bit of reading up on baby fever and what to do. Here are two links to share:
http://www.kkh.com.sg/HealthPedia/Pages/ChildhoodIllnessesFever.aspx
http://www.ehow.com/how_4549370_treat-babys-fever-medication.html

And of course trimming away that disgusting flabby tummy will always be an area of concern for all mummies! And unfortunately there's little time to go out for a jog or play some sports as I'm confined at home latching baby full time. What's worse? I'm almost always sedentary as I'm always latching baby in bed and playing with baby in bed too! My only workout is when I have to carry baby and walk around with her when she gets cranky before bedtime. Since I'm "in bed" most of the time, I googled "exercise in bed" and found these to share:
http://m.shape.com/blogs/fit-list-jay-cardiello/get-total-body-workout-bed
http://m.voices.yahoo.com/tummy-exercises-bed-2322814.html

I'm looking at workouts but frankly, I'm starving right now!! With baby asleep it's time to seek dinner.

Envy

Envious of all those that get to live in their own home truly belonging to them, have a say of what goes into the storeroom or the kitchen cabinets, and don't have to live with in-laws.

On one hand I appreciate my mother-in-law for doing all the chores, on the other hand I envy those who get to live on their own with their own family... No I'm not just envious, I'm super jealous!

Tired

One of those days when I cried several times a day. Plus my wrists ache, my arms ache, my shoulder blades ache, my back ache and now even my ribs are feeling achy. I'm already sleeping so little and now I sometimes feel so uncomfy with all the aching that I have difficulty falling asleep...

Typically I sleep at 11+ at night, wake up once or twice for an hour to latch, and finally get outta bed at 6+ to 7 in the morning. And I seldom get to nap in the day as baby hardly sleeps in the day... If she does, I usually have to rush a meal or something, and her little naps usually only last around 30 minutes?!

One word: tired. No, make it two: very tired.

Piles postpartum

I'm having this:

http://www.babycenter.com/0_postpartum-hemorrhoids_11708.bc?page=1

There's lots of blood lost during bowel movement and it hurts so much! :( I've seen a doc and am on medication now... Seeing the toilet bowl stained red with blood is quite a harrowing experience.

First nail cut

My little precious is 7 weeks old today and she just had her first ever manicure session this morning. Had wanted to cut her fingernails when she's 6 weeks old... 1 week late, but nonetheless, I'm happy and proud to successfully cut her nails all on my own!

I cut the nails on her right hand first when she was sleeping, and she woke up when I started cutting the nails on her left hand. Had wanted to take timeout and continue later but fortunately I managed to clip all her nails before she started wailing for milk. Phew~

Now she can ditch her mittens and start grabbing things!

And now, mummy needs her manicure session too!

Acrobatic

When you have a baby, suddenly you become very acrobatic and learned to do everything with one hand while balancing baby with the other...

Time flies like crazy

Time really flies!! All I do each day is feeding baby, coaxing baby and changing nappies and already there's no time left for other stuff and suddenly baby is almost 7 weeks old! Omg time flies pass soooooo fast, it's freaking scary!!

Cried again

When a day is emo, it just gets emo all the way... An emo day is never a good day.

Baby woke up as I was typing the previous entry... She hardly slept actually. She was tired and cranky yet refused to sleep and constantly wants to be latched in the day. Just now after changing her diaper I was starving so I left her to get lunch in the dining room and she started wailing away shortly. I probably rushed through lunch and a toilet break in a couple of minutes or three. But when I was back in the room she was wailing so bitterly, it probably felt like forever to her. Seeing the poor baby cry like this, I was so heartbroken I broke down and cried too :'(

She's finally sleeping now, but not in deep sleep and she's still latching intermittently on and off in her sleep as she keeps making noise and searching for her food source.

I guess it's all my fault to let her treat me like the ultimate pacifier. But she rejects the various pacifiers we bought and tried on her. She cried so madly when we stuffed a pacifier into her mouth. And like above, well I just can't bear to see her cry for long. That will almost definitely make me cry too. In the end, I always give in to latching her and well... Let that be. It's a moment to cherish, as I mentioned in my previous entry... It won't last for long. The constant latching is killing my back and my arms and makes me so tired, but seeing the satisfaction in her adorable little face makes everything worthwhile.

The tiny little angelic being is turning my world totally upside down and turning me into an emotional wreck over and over again. Yes, motherhood is indeed an overwhelming experience for me.

Emo again

This morning I was latching as usual, until baby fell asleep in my arms and I was cuddling her and watching her beautiful sleeping expressions. It was a lovely moment and I started thinking to myself:

Although these days are tiring and difficult and I'm extremely exhausted from the constant latching, I really gotta cherish every single moment, and I'm doing that right now. We all know time flies. And in no time, she will no longer be wanting my cuddles and as she grows older she will no longer be needing me... no matter how much I love her and how much effort I have put in now to nurture her and how much pain I have gone through for her.

I'm all emo again and with those thoughts I cuddled her and cried. I never knew I have this much capacity for love. I never knew I can love someone this much. Motherhood indeed is an overwhelming experience.

What I've done so far today

Today she's 5 weeks and 5 days old.

And here's what I've done in the past 12 hours, excluding toilet breaks.

0410-0430 latch left
0435-0455 latch right
0530-0540 latch left
0725-0740 latch right
0830-0840 latch left
0845-0900 breakfast
0910-0950 latch right (she fell asleep twice)
1010-1050 latch left (read her a story in between)
1135-1215 latch right
1240-1255 latch left
1300-1310 latch right
1310-1440 napped with baby
1440-1520 latch left
1535-1550 latch right

And now I'm typing this entry on my phone as she lies beside me, wide awake.

These are the two books I bought before she popped... Was reading her one earlier today ^^

Wanted to read her the other one but she started wailing for milk again! ><

That's life of a new mama... and she's wailing again. Oh, she soiled her cloth diaper. Time to change, tata!

Emo mummy

Yes that's me.

I was cuddling my little darling and singing to the songs on radio... And suddenly started wondering if baby would recall those days when she's in my bump and I was singing to her. Or maybe long forgotten. And I started crying... In no time, she will not remember today, when I latch her for hours to keep her satisfied and cuddle her in my arms to keep her comfy. Just like sometimes I forgot to appreciate my own mother and the things she does for me, and snapped at her at times when I get impatient. I cried even more... One really have to experience being a mum to appreciate what a mum does.

And it didn't help that radio was playing Jay's 《枫》...

让爱渗透了地面 　
我要的只是你在我身边

Even if I have bountiful of love for my precious darling now, one day she's going to stop needing me and eventually leave. The thought makes me super emo and I just can't stop my tears from rolling down my cheeks... as baby latches on once again and looks at her crying mummy with bright curious eyes. Baby, mummy loves you so much... mummy is overwhelmed.

Rant entry

Back to whine...

Last night FIL came back from his usual daily drinking session and asked if baby was asleep. I just came out of shower and told him no, baby's playing in the cot, and he immediately went to carry baby. But baby's playing quietly and falling asleep, so there's no need to carry her! In the end baby cried, and FIL rocked her so hard. :( I have told him off before and luckily MIL was on my side, but after drinking FIL obviously has forgotten. Rocking baby may cause damage to baby's soft little brain.

Then baby pooed and FIL kept repeating "poot poot" to her and called her "smelly" in mandarin. I don't like it when they call her "smelly". Yes, MIL also calls her that. She's not smelly and worse, sometimes they call her "rotten egg" in mandarin! I only associate "rotten egg" with horrible people such as wanted criminals! I hate it when people associate negative words to my baby. I feel that a baby should grow up in a positive environment and she did not do anything to deserve such names! So I have to undo the damage when I'm alone with her, telling her she's not "smelly" or "rotten egg"! If not they may grow up feeling that they have to fill in the 'expected roles' of being "smelly" and "rotten egg"! By then, the damage will be difficult to be undone!!

Regarding "poot poot", if you said it once... okay. Twice... okay. But do you have to keep repeating it? I want my baby's first words to be "mummy" and "daddy"... not "poot poot"!

Sigh... I can't complain much to anyone at home, that's why I'm here to rant and whine... only can open one eye and close one eye. Who ask me so stupid to love and marry someone who insists on living with the parents. Sigh sigh sigh! Only can 'psycho' baby everyday that she has to listen to only the good things, absorb only the positive vibes... most importantly, listen to mummy and love mummy!

Wanna whine

But I shall vent tomorrow... Too tired now. Time to snooze.

Home sweet home

Yesterday afternoon hubby came to fetch us and the 18 bags/boxes of stuff from my parents' place... Spent the whole morning packing and now it's the hassle of unpacking and finding space for the stuff!

The baby's cabinet is full, my wardrobe is full, the spare room is filled with bags and boxes of stuff, the baby's cabinet and my book shelves. Suddenly it's so cluttered everywhere! A tiny little baby needs a lot a lot of stuff, and a lot a lot of space to store those stuff.

Little precious seems to be adapting well. From my point of view, the sturdy cot here is way better and much more comfy that the playpen bassinet at my parents' place.

Today is the first time I didn't bathe baby myself. Mother-in-law bathed her for me. Now I'm latching her and the rest of the day will be spent unpacking and decluttering, if not latching.

Since it's 4 weeks after baby's arrival and my confinement is over, subsequent posts will be tagged "mummy diary" instead of "post-natal diary". :)

Under control

A baby is such a helpless little being. She may be hungry but can't find her own food, may feel dirty but can't bathe herself, may feel lonely but can't get out of the cot herself and go out to play. To some extend, the baby seems to be under the adults' control. If the adult doesn't feed her, she will never get satisfied and will just remain hungry. She's so helpless, all she can do about the situation is cry.

On the other hand...

I can't sleep when she's awake. I can't go out and play when she's demanding to be latched. I'm in so much pain when she latches, yet I can't just say, "Hey, mummy's in pain... so you settle this meal yourself k? Mummy needs some rest."

She wails in the middle of the night and I gotta wake up, no matter how tired I am. I feed her on demand and attend to her every single need, only satusfying my own needs and getting a short short rest when she sleeps. So, who's under whose control now?

Not easy

It's just not easy being a mum. First, I am totally deprived of sleep, I'm zombified. Sometimes I can hardly keep my eyes open, even when I'm walking to the toilet, and I'm always forcing myself to stay awake. I'm like a walking zombie... But a walking zombie with so much love. Next, my nipples hurt like hell from all the latching... Baby suckles so hard it feels like she's actually chewing on my nipples like they're gum. Even hurt to touch them when bathing.

Then I keep getting all emo. Just now I was having her latched and as usual telling her how much I love her. And then I was so overwhelmed by my emotions. I haven't exactly had a tough life but I've been through some serious shit myself and while in tears and sniffing away, I was telling baby that I want her to be happy and blessed... Thinking to myself that I won't want her to go through the same kinda shit I've been through. Thinking how painful it will be to see my daughter being hurt or depressed. And wondering how my mum felt seeing me like that.

Such an emo wreck I am right now. I thought I'm outta my emo self but yup, being a mother is just SO NOT EASY!!

One week left

I'm feeling better now... My supply has not resume to the previous max amount but is already improving from the "new low" two days ago... Hopefully it hit the max amount soon and even better... As baby grows, the milk supply should increase.

Confinement will end in a week's time. Will be returning home next Thursday, from my parents place where I'm having my confinement. Can't wait to be back with my hubby and have him help take care of baby too.

We will be having baby's full month celebration over two days next weekend... Too many people to invite! But I do worry about all the random hands touching my baby's chubby face. Sigh, call me the paranoid possessive mother. I really wish to keep baby inside the bedroom with me, but what's a baby full month celebration without the baby right?

This was taken yesterday morning at around 6:40am, by the dim light of my Ikea bedside lamp... I love my little precious. :)

Still crying

This is the second day I cry nonstop. I slept in tears and woke up in tears. I worry at this rate I'm going to go blind, but I can't stop the tears from rolling and I'm feeling so miserable because my milk supply has dropped tremendously and it seems like baby is always not having enough. :( I even keep apologizing to baby: sorry mummy doesn't have enough milk for you :'(

Cry and headache

I cry and I cry and I cry and I cry. And it is giving me a very bad headache, and that's not the only thing that hurts.

My whole life is upside down. The only thing that's right is my little baby. And she's so right she has become a little tyrant and turned my life upside down.

I latch on and on and on nonstop in the day. Hardly anytime to eat or drink or pee or poo. I'm tired and worried. I'm worried that she doesn't have enough milk to drink. And latching starts to hurt so bad. My nipples are more than just sore, I have to engage my contraction breathing techniques when latching her.

And then I still can't stop myself... I cry and I cry and I cry and I cry.

Ahem

Been singing to baby until I'm feeling a sore throat developing. But i sing so softly, especially in the middle of the night after latching... Trying so hard to make her sleep but she just continues to stare at me with her big round eyes. So i just sing on and on and on. Am I singing too much?! Or perhaps sleeping too little...

I need sleep

Another cranky night has passed.

Prepared a bottle from a packet of 110ml ebm at 1 plus am, hoping that she would drink as much as she wanted and sleep well through the night. And she drank around 60ml at 2am, then I put her back to sleep and pumped, but she refused to sleep and she cried again, and drank the balance 50ml at close to 3am after I pumped. Then at 3:40am she cried again to latch... Latching on till 4am... Finally slept.

At 5:40am she cried again and latched on and off till 7:10am... Then at 7:20am she cried again *omg* she finally latched to sleep at close to 10am. And I can have some water, take a toilet break and finally snooze.

Growth spurt perhaps

Last night was worse. She was latching nonstop too, but from 12am to 3am. It was extremely tiring for me. She cried so hard in between when she detached herself and yet had difficulty latching back, it hurts me to see her cry like that. In the end I was crying with her, pleading her to quickly finish and sleep so that I can finally get to rest too.

It could be a growth spurt, or maybe she's simply treating me as the human pacifier. I wish it's the former. I'm still pretty clueless... Being a first time new mom, there's just so much to learn each day!

There were visitors these two days. Two groups of my colleagues came yesterday and today respectively, plus my aunt and uncle came today and joined us for lunch.

Updating this while baby's latched on and suckling again... It's getting more and more sore to the extend of feeling painful as she suckles very forcefully. Sometimes I'm contemplating to switch to expressing but I love the bonding time when she latches on me. It's such a dilemma. And literally such a pain.

Nonstop latching

Baby has been demanding for milk and yet she's so difficult to latch as she's always struggling and pushing and aiming the wrong direction. She cried until hoarse *heartpain* and has been latched on and off for the past 2.5 hours... Each time she latches on, she falls into a light sleep, only to wake up in less than five minutes and cries for more milk, and I'll latch her again. Each time she latches on, I cry. It's been so tiring! And my nipples are so sore from her constant latching. She hasn't really slept since 8am and I seriously need a rest :(

Now she's finally falling asleep... I just rushed to the toilet and back... Almost peed in bed as I've been sitting in bed latching for hours. I really hope she can stay asleep longer so that I can take a nap too.

New time zone

Living in a new time zone.

It doesn't adhere to the usual 24 hours, 7 weeks standard. There's no distinction between days and nights, except that you need to switch on the light when it's dark outside.

It's BFT - baby feeding time!

When baby's awake, you are awake and kept busy. You feed baby, bathe baby, carry baby, sing to baby, entertain baby and change diapers. When all those are completed and baby's falling asleep, you may sneak a moment to update your Facebook or your blog, like what I'm doing right now!

And when baby's asleep, you pump, wash, sterilize, eat, drink, pee, poo, bathe, and occasionally take some photos of your baby's cute sleeping poses... If all of the above have been completed, you finally get to sleep, before baby wakes up and keeps you busy again!

Bathing

I have been bathing everyday since the day after I arrived at my folks' place for confinement. I did not bathe at all while in TMC, after my delivery... too tired and sore to be bathing.

I don't know how others were able to go through one month of confinement without bathing. I'm perspiring like crazy everyday, day and night. Since I'm already damp in my perspiration anyway, why can't I cleanse myself right? I literally perspire a waterfall down my face, front and my back especially after my hot meals for lunch and dinner. In fact with my sensitive skin condition, I'm already scratching myself madly, leaving scratch marks all over my chest, my tummy and my back. =(

My mum boils "daifonai" herbal bath water for me every morning to bathe myself in. On alternate days I will request for more herbal water, and use shampoo and body foam, and rinse with the herbal water. I can't imagine if I didn't use shampoo or body foam... My scalp and body would be itching like mad! Thank goodness I'm allowed to bathe... phew~

EDD

Today is my original EDD, and my little precious is 10-day-old today!

My hubby came with his parents and his sister to visit baby today. After his folks left, he stayed back to accompany me and helped me with baby while I'm forced to sleep. I'm still an emotional wreck and cried ever so often he's freaking out. He concluded that what I really need is rest and made me sleep. But baby still was a handful at the meanwhile and I had to change her diaper etc.

I'm the super possessive mother... oh no! No wonder I tire myself out. I want to do everything! From bathing my little precious since day 1 back at home, to changing clothes or diapers, feeding, etc. Now sometimes my mum bottle-feeds her my EBM, and just now hubby fed her too. But I still do the rest myself, including washing and sterilizing the bottles and pump parts. My mum does the laundry, cooking and dish washing.

Napped, and hubby went home to rush his graded group assignment. Do I have to wait a week before I can see him again? Sigh...

Pic of the day - my mum cooked black fungi and mock chicken in rice wine. My FIL loves this dish and so we gave him a bowl too, which made him very happy, according to hubby. :) Here, my mum served the dish together with boiled caixin for me. I have veggies and brown rice every meal, so I never had constipation. :)

T_T

I'm becoming this emotional wreck and crying myself to sleep. In fact I'm crying ever so often these days - while feeding, pumping, bathing, carrying baby and sleeping. (>_<) Now I'm missing my hubby like crazy and just scalded my fingers with the sterilizer because I'm too anxious to retrieve the bottle as baby was crying... And that's after I have breast-fed her, so getting bottle ready for the expressed milk. She always doesn't have enough and takes so long to feed. I'm tired. In fact at my post-natal appointment, my gynae says I look so tired, i look worse than when I was giving birth! He also said baby's been torturing me... Haha. Being a mummy is just so tough!! Can't wait for confinement to be over, so I can go home and let hubby share half the load, plus stop missing him so badly of course. Although I'll definitely miss my mum's cooking then.

Okay, I'm done crying... Blogging is therapeutic... Hohoho. Goodnight world! I shall snooze before baby cry for milk again... Desperately need sleep now.

Feeding baby

I still can't grasp her feeding habits. Sometimes she falls asleep after feeding on one side and stays asleep for hours. Sometimes she's still crying for more milk after feeding on both sides, and I have to try to breastfeed her again or warm up some of the expressed milk for her. I wonder if it's her feeding pattern that's unpredictable, or my milk supply. Sigh.

On a brighter note, went for my post-natal gynae appointment today and doc says my episiotomy wound is healing beautifully. Hubby, baby and I also took photos with Dr Tham and his sweet and trusty assistant, nurse Nina. We're planning to print the photos for them, and my next appointment is 3 months later.

Here's 4 pics of my lovely precious who's always so full of expressions, especially after the satisfaction from my breasts. She has quite an obsessed mummy who can't stop snapping her photos! :P

Hubby love

Besides working the entire Monday, hubby has been busy with both work and baby or me for the rest of this week.

On Tuesday, hubby came to my folks' place to fetch us for baby's PD appointment, then there was the lab test in the polyclinic, then baby's admission into TMC, before sending me back to my folks' place.

Yesterday, Wednesday, was a visit to TMC to see my little precious. The original plan was for my mum and I to take a cab and meet his mum at TMC to visit baby together. But he popped by my folks' place unexpectedly to fetch us, and subsequently sent us home.

Today baby's discharged from TMC, and once again I told him I'll go fetch baby by cab as I know he's been busy with work and his part time studies and the ordeal is burning him out. But once again he appeared unexpectedly to fetch me, picked baby up from TMC, footed the bill, and sent us back before rushing for his own lunch and then back to work.

Tomorrow is my post-natal gynae appointment and once again hubby will be taking time off and bringing me to TMC. I came home today and cried thinking about how tiring it is for him. Really heartpain for him to be rushing to and fro despite his hectic work plus part-time degree schedule.

I really appreciate having him to be always there for me and my little precious one. So much so much love for both of them - my family, my love~

Pumping frenzy

I just achieved 105ml! That's combined of both sides - 35ml from left and 70ml from right... Before this the max was 95ml although usually only around 70ml...

Wonder why the left side one always produce lesser. Yesterday when I asked Mdm Suria, she said 20% lesser is normal, but today it's 50% lesser! =\ Maybe ask her again later...

Anyway yesterday the nurse at TMC told me that my little precious can drink up to 95ml of milk per feed! Oh gosh, what a big eater she is!!

Visiting baby

Went to visit my little precious at TMC and brought my expressed milk over for her too... Been missing her like crazy!! It's just so good to have her in my arms... Although she was sleeping throughout as she was just fed. So I didn't manage to feed her myself.

Her PD called me this morning to inform me that her jaundice level has gone down well... And the nurse at TMC told me when she was admitted, the level was high at 22+ but today it's at 13+ after one day, so tomorrow it should be below 10 and she can be discharged. Yay, I can't wait to have her back with me tomorrow! :D

Taken today at TMC... My little darling in my arm~ such chubby cuteness!!

Back in TMC

I did say I will miss the service here, but I didn't expect to be back this soon. And for this reason. :(

Today we brought the little one for her first PD visit, then a blood test at the polyclinic, and the results reveal the bad news that my little precious need to be admitted immediately for "sunbathing". All thanks to the lack of sunlight since we were discharged. What happened to the scorching hot days in the past many weeks?!

Hubby was on leave in the morning for the PD visit and now had to take the rest of the day off. And I'm super engorged and painful now, with the last feed at 6+ in the morning and her one subsequent feed was the leftover formula mix from TMC. We've been waiting for admission at TMC since 12:05pm and we're still sitting here waiting... and I'm starving.

A pic to brighten up this particularly gloomy day... My darling baby fast asleep in my arm while waiting for the lab results in the polyclinic. She remained peacefully asleep despite the fuss we were making over her, and didn't even budge at all when pricked for the blood test.

Post-natal massage

Just had my first post-natal massage by Mdm Suria.. Shiok!

My breasts are now softer, not like two heavy rock melons anymore. The tightly knotted muscles are all loosen up and my ab - super flabby after giving birth - is now in a wrap. She's really friendly and nice and gives good advices too. I was surprised she's only 3 years my senior! Really thankful to my friend for introducing her, and also thankful that I'm doing confinement at my parents' place as she only provides her services in certain areas and this is one of them. =)

Another gloomy day

Sigh. Our PD told us to sun the little precious as she's having mild jaundice, but there hasn't been much sunlight at my parents' place these two days! She's getting yellow on the skin, in the eyes and her tongue too, and I'm getting worried.

Getting used to the "bigness" and now the engorgement isn't as bad. Probably what I felt earlier was just the "fourth day worst engorgement" and hope the engorged feeling won't come back. Now I feed on demand in the day and let her suckle, while pumping once in the day and once at night... Feeding her the expressed milk in the night as she suckles for very long. After bottle feeding she will go back to sleep and I can get more rest too.

Here's the little one with her priceless expressions after this morning's first feed~

Engorged

I love the blogger iPhone app... Haha... Now I'm typing this entry with one hand while baby is greedily suckling in my other arm.

To think this morning I was still worried about milk supply. Just now the engorgement was killing me! I had both sides pumped for 15 minutes at 9:45pm and then now baby is suckling after she woke up from her slumber crying for milk. Both sides are still plump and heavy with milk. I feel like a true blue mammal mum. Haha...

It's really not easy. To think I just pumped and I still feel engorged. And I thought I didn't need fenugreek but my gynae introduced it to us and hubby was very enthusiastic and bought it this morning. I'm having it and also having a good supply now. Bought the supplementary system as recommended yesterday when the milk supply was not in... Sigh, not cheap and never used... Waste money! :/

Read from Mrs Wong's breastfeeding guide that engorgement may be felt worst on the fourth day which is today. Hope it will not linger!!

Reality hits

This morning I woke up crying. I will be discharged later and I started to panic. What if baby still doesn't want to latch? What if there is no milk supply? What if I don't know how to take care of baby? What if I don't know anything and can't do anything? I feel very ill prepared and suddenly I realized I'll be on my own (with my mum of course but she claims she has forgotten everything and I'm kinda on my own) and I cried so bad as reality hit hard.

I really hope I can cope, I'm so afraid I can't. :(

My stay in TMC

A photo summary :P

I'll miss being served and well taken care of by the professionals in my premium suite.

The delivery

This morning at 7+ I started to feel this cramp... Like menstrual cramp... And was having urge to pee and poo. The cramp comes like every 10 to 15 minutes, and each time I rushed to the toilet to pee and poo.

Later on the cramp gets more and more painful and frequent, and I still run to the loo in pain each time. I alerted hubby who was sleeping, at slightly pass 8am and he quickly got ready while I continued to rush in and out of the loo. At 8:40am, I see a watery bloody mess on my panty liner, probably the show and a sign that the water bag has broken.

Coincidentally hubby saw doc yesterday and was given two-day MC, so he was at home and quickly rushed me down to TMC. I was going mad in pain on the way and the slow rush-hour traffic was really getting onto our nerves... and finally we arrived at TMC at 9 plus.

While hubby was doing the admission at the lobby, I requested for gas in the observation ward and was wriggling and struggling with the pain. The nurses asked if I really didn't want epidural but I was in too much pain to even bother answering them. I was quickly dilated from 2 cm upon arrival to 8 cm in around 30 minutes and was sent to the delivery ward. Hubby was anxious to find me gone from the observation ward when he returned from the lobby and was directed to the delivery ward. I too was anxious to be in the delivery ward alone without him and hoping he could be back in time to witness the birth of our baby.

Eventually the pushing came and I was just super tired from the pushing as I haven't had breakfast. Stubborn baby slipped back each time I stopped pushing, so after pushing for an hour, my gynae was called in to use vacuum on the baby. Had a jab for the episiotomy and after the encouragements from hubby, the midwives and the gynae, plus a few more pushes that expended all my energy, the baby was finally out.

The doc got hubby to cut the umbilical cord while I was totally shagged out. I was lying there motionless when the doc was stitching me up. He said I was fast for first timer and have very high tolerance for pain. I was just too exhausted to react...

Baby was delivered just before 12 noon, measuring 3.36 kg and 50 cm. And here she is, saying, "hello world!"

This entry was uploaded using blogger iphone app while in hospital bed and later edited to add in more details. All entries updated in TMC are posted via the iphone app.

Prenatal pics

Just 16 out of many of the pictures that I've taken over the past few months... from 20 weeks in the first pic to 38 weeks and 1 day (today) in the last pic.

August 2012

3 August 2012 The last post was on 14 July and I did exclaim "Time flies!" And now I must say, truly, how time flies! July was over in a flash and I haven't been updating. But that doesn't mean I haven't been doing anything. In fact, I was so busy with celebrations and work and preparing baby stuff...

July was hubby's birthday celebration, my mother's birthday celebration, plus another close girlfriend cum colleague's birthday celebration... besides these celebrations, we have been dining out quite a bit with hubby's family. There's this new restaurant opened at Compass Point, called Canton Paradise, and my in-laws are absolutely crazy over it. I was actually there 6 times in 3 weeks! Twice with my close colleagues and 4 more times - once with hubby on his birthday and the rest all with my in-laws as well. One was their treat for hubby, one was hubby's treat, and another time a treat for BIL whose birthday is in early August.

Been working on my lesson packages and setting of standarized tests... now busy with my EOY papers, hopefully can set finish before I go on maternity leave! And two weeks ago, we went to Taka Baby Fair after my gynae appointment and spent almost a thousand there on baby items! Including a stroller, baby wipes, sterilizer, baby bathing gel, baby laundry detergent, breastpads etc... and for spending so much, we gotten a Fisher-Price freebie and free home delivery. Now that all the items have arrived, the house is really cluttered. I really cannot imagine, all the stuff for a tiny little baby is taking so much more space than I can imagine!! The list in the pic below is a bilingual checklist written by me for my in-laws to check the items when the delivery arrived ^^

I've even taken some self-shots of myself using the timer mode of my neglected Canon 600D while home alone after work one day... since not intending to spend money on studio pics... yet really wanted to take some photos to keep as momento, so think no more, I shall do it myself!! Sharing one here... how's this? =)

These two days I'm on MC. Been in a lot of pain. Today I updated in my Facebook: "I haven't eaten a thing because I haven't gotten out of bed because I just can't walk a few steps without bursting into tears from the excruciating pain... Pain pain please go away soon!!!"

And no, it's not contraction. It's just a nerve-wrecking backache from an old injury... Last time I fell down a flight of stairs (while preparing for my wedding photoshoot some 5 years ago) and landed awkwardly on my lower back now the old injury is back to haunt me.. Doc says the ligament from the lower spine to pelvic bone there loosen up to make the passageway for baby to exit... So probably loosen le more sensitive...  This lower back pain been with me on and off for the past week, but these two days it was so painful that my legs will buckle under the pain when I walk... Like hitting a raw nerve every time I shift my weight from left leg to right leg... Can hardly walk 3 steps to the washroom... and to think I always think I have high threshold of pain! Blood-letting, cupping and brazilian waxing are like nothing to me! Now I'm started to fear that when it's my time, the labour pain and this back pain will come together and test my tolerance. I seriously hope to go for natural without epidural... wish me all the best!

10 August 2012 Yesterday's National Day and today is a holiday! Unfortunately I have tonnes of graded assignments to be marked and exam papers to set... next week will be my last week in school before I go on maternity leave.

Since I have 6 secondary 2 classes and 4 secondary 3 classes, all physics (all lower sec, pure, combined express and combined normal acad), there's always tonnes of work to do. This week I collected graded assignments from my 6 sec 2 classes and one of the sec 3 classes... plus class test from my pure science class. All need to be marked over this weekend. Next wednesday is science common test. So I will received common test papers from all the 10 classes. Plus I'm also giving a short class test for my sec 2s (those poor things, but I am making use of the fact that they are already revising for common test so might as well right? same topic wor! =P)... so I will hv test scripts from 16 classes to be marked and marks keyed in by next Friday! OMG, faints~

Sadly, when I came to this site (previous URL at Multiply.com) to log in today, it says that it's stopping service soon. Time to migrate somewhere else... dunno where to go. I like Multiply because I can keep my entries to be contact-only. If I go back to blogger.com, then I'll have to add all my friends all over again, provided they are also interested to log in and read my entries. Ha... Okies, shall go back to work and then source for another suitable site soon. So long~

19 August 2012 Friday was officially my last working day before maternity leave starts. But alas, procrastination overtook me and now I'm still setting papers and marking away... hopefully can return everything by Wednesday, praying that baby won't pop until end of next week! planning to go back to school on coming Wednesday. Firstly, my table is in a horrible mess as I rushed to complete whatever little tasks I had on hand before I go and stacking piles of stuff on my table and having no time to clear them up. Secondly, it's the promotion ceremony for my Red Cross Youth cadets and they are really looking forward to having me go back for the ceremony and enjoy the party after the ceremony with them.

Alrighty, back to doing my work... urgh, I get distracted easily as everytime baby kicks I will stop to "play" with baby... pat pat and poke poke my bump and chatting away with her. Haha, crazy mama I am! Will be back to update on where I'll be continuing my 'motherhood blog'. So long~ (this is my last entry in Multiply.com)

20 August 2012 So, I'm continuing here. This is the first entry I typed in blogger.com, the earlier ones were all copied over from multiply.com which unfortunately will be closing down soon. I've been using blogger.com for a long time before using multiply.com and even while using multiply.com so everything's a breeze here.

I'm done with setting my papers! Like, YES! Finally~ Woohoo!! Up next, 5 more stacks of marking to go~ And a day to clear up my messy desk in the staffroom, and I'll be free from all work-related duty and finally focus on being a new mother! Will miss my nice nice colleagues though. I always feel fortunate to be blessed with really nice colleagues. =)

Guess what? When people ask me how excited I am, I really think everyone else is more excited than me! I don't feel that much excitement afterall, and I always reply, "I guess the excitement will kick in when I start feeling the contractions." Hahaha~ work seriously keeps my mind off the pregnancy excitement although baby's kickings manage to distract me most of the time and she sure kicks a lot!

Alrighty, it's late and it's time to rest. I'll be back. Yay!

21 August 2012 Rise and shine! This is the first entry typed in the Blogger iPhone app ^^ Today my maternity leave officially starts. But I'm still marking... >< nevermind, it's almost done, just 3 more classes to go!!

My bag and the cordlife stuff all packed and ready to go~

Having gynae appointment later at 11:30am ^^

July 2012

2 July 2012 It's school holiday today. Youth Day! I have tonnes of work to do: preparation for level meeting tomorrow, 6 lesson plans on sexuality education, setting of standardized test and setting of 2 end-of-year examination papers. I haven't even been writing and submitting my weekly lesson plans. And I'm still procrastinating! Oh dear... what happened to my weekend? Why is it over so soon!!

Baby has been super active! Took a video of my nonstop rolling bump last night. Perhaps because baby is getting fat while my bump is not much bigger, so it becomes very cramped and squeezy inside, thus baby's always moving around finding a comfortable position or kicking her "wall" trying to make her "room" bigger. She doesn't seem to sleep! Moving nonstop all day and all night long~

Now I'm waiting for hubby to fetch me out for dinner... I'm starving already! Luckily earlier I had some food for teabreak... now can't wait for dinner!

7 July 2012 It's Saturday but I'm busy~ Doing EPMS and other work stuff, but going back to my parents' place for dinner later and to stay over tonight, and lunching with some old friends tomorrow. I can't wait!

Hubby went to Bangkok for a holiday with his guys for a week... can't wait for him to be back too! At the meanwhile, I got bold and took a pic of my naked bump... =P

Last night was out till late, went for dinner with my close lady colleagues at Far East Plaza... before dinner we shopped around and walked so much my legs felt exactly the same pain I felt after my 10km AHM run a couple of years ago. But the pain went away after dinner... when we sat down and slowly ate and chatted away.

Gotta plan my time well from now onwards... I've been procrastinating in terms of work. Now it's 6 weeks before my maternity leave and I have got 2 standardized tests, 1 class test and 2 end-of-year exam papers to set before I go!! *slaps forehead* Lots of stuff, gotta start my engine and speed up now. Yes yes, it's the end of term 3 week 2 and I'm still being haunted by 'holiday mood'... oh holiday mood, go away please!

14 July 2012 Time flies! 5 more weeks of teaching before my maternity leave. And I have not start setting the papers yet! Everyday is so packed... aiyo (>.<") How to finish?! Frankly I'm not even prepared for baby yet! Fortunately we received preloved cot and playpen from friends but we have not fixed them up and check their condition yet. The spare room is still my messy store room, thus there will be no room for baby's nursery room... baby will stay in our room and already there's hardly much space to move about. I wonder how it'll be like once we fit the cot into our bedroom.

Baby's been super hyperactive as usual. Kicking and punching away ever so often. I'm told not to worry about this, let baby be hyper inside and she will come out all ready to sleep through the nights... hahaha~ I surely hope so!

Tomorrow will be week 33 already! Some of my colleagues told me their babies popped in 37th week... OMG I took maternity leave from 38th week onwards only! What if baby decided to come out while I'm teaching?! And yes I better start packing my bag... have not done so yet... I dunno where all the baby clothes and my nursing bras gone to! MIL says will wash them for me and put them away already... better go ask tomorrow (now at my parents' place) and get things all packed and get ready first. Hoho~ I haven't really been feeling much excitement but now as I type I'm feeling it! Haha~

June 2012

1 June 2012 Back in school to get somethings done, but ended up slacking and taking pics of myself... *oops* 

Afterwards I had lunch with a bunch of lady colleagues and we went to Teo Heng at Sembawang Shopping Centre for a crazy sing-song time! Had dinner at a Wan Chai Hong Kong Kitchen before heading home... Had such a blast with my colleagues, really love them to bits!

2 June 2012 Week 27! And I'm going on a local hotel staycation with 3 lady colleagues... we're gonna have lots of fun! :D Poor hubby has been home alone though... while I was away at my folks' place and tonight too... tomorrow I'm going back to my folks' place again because I'm having a workshop at HCI on Monday and Tuesday, and it'll be easier to go there from my parents' place than mine.

6 June 2012 Updating this in school... came back to clear up my messy desk but ended up with a headache and no mood to do anything. Staycation was great though. First time I dipped in pool in my bikini! Because obviously my bump can't fit into my one-piece swimsuit anymore... Workshop at HCI was ok, and after day 2 of my workshop, I went for my first antenatal lesson yesterday evening with hubby. It was very enriching and fun! Mrs Wong, the instructor, also taught the hubbies to massage for the pregnant wives, and to talk to the baby bumps and say, "baby, be good to mummy!" Hee, so cute!

My colleague gave me a pair of sweet light pink baby sandals just now! She bought them from KL when she was there with her family over last weekend. Really nice of her! =) Later meeting 2 NIE girlfriends for lunch at Changi Airport... still feeling blah, hopefully my headache will go away soon!

13 June 2012 Week 28!! Had my gynae appointment last Saturday. Baby's going fine but I need to watch my diet as I've been gaining weight. =P Have gained 6 kg so far... although I seriously hope it won't go up any further! But baby's weight gain will peak in the last month... I can't believe how much more weight I'll have to put on. Urgh~

This week is a week of indulgence! I did a bit of housekeeping at home on Monday and then went back to my folks' place to spend the night. Yesterday my mum bought breakfast (YUM!) and cooked a sumptuous lunch as my close cousin's coming over to eat with us. After lunch I went to Jurong Point with my cousin and we ended up having a sinful dessert at Haagen Dazs!

Went for my second antenatal lesson after hanging out with my cousin in JP... took a train down to AMK Hub to meet hubby and went for the lesson together. The second lesson focused on the techniques for combating labour pains... including breathing techniques for relaxation, and details on other techniques available, such as massage, epidural, laughing gas and hydrotherapy etc. We learnt the different ways of breathing to cope with early contractions as well as intense pain... and hubbies learnt to massage the wifeys to reduce pain... and everyone learnt that the last thing we should do is to bite/slap our husbands... Keke!

Later I'm meeting my cousin again, and another girlfriend, for vegetarian steamboat buffet at Lotus Restaurant in Quality Hotel, and then there's another buffet on Friday, at Carousel after my close colleague's ROM! Oh boy, what a week! Whatever happened to "watch my diet"?! ><

15 June 2012 Had high tea buffet today! And haven't eaten anything since buffet until now (it's close to midnight)... had so much food at Carousel!!

Chatting with a colleague on Facebook and reading up some forums as well... my colleague is a single girl that used to go mambo with, and asked me where I'm delivering. While comparing KK and TMC with her, and reading  the forums, I was overwhelmed by the fact that I'm so blessed, and I'm telling her too. I'm blessed to be able to afford to go to a private hospital, as I read some mothers wrote in forums how they struggle to pay for their subsidized visits at KK, and even had to skip some appointments because they couldn't afford to go for every single one. Then I saw a thread about mothers with acne problem during pregnancy... my mum had terrible acne problem too when she was expecting me, but I'm blessed to be looking radiant and good. I saw mothers complaining about stretchmarks from 6 months onwards, but I'm in my 7th month and I'm stretchmark-free... so far! I really wish it'll stay that way!! *fingers crossed* I saw mothers complaining about confinement ladies, or the lack of people helping during their confinement, but I have my mum to be there for me and to cook my favourite food for me. There are mothers who live with in-laws and quarrel with in-laws every other day and had a hard time living with in-laws for years and years... while I have in-laws that are nice to me and always give in to me. How can I not feel grateful and blessed? Even my baby cots (yes, two of them!) are given by our friends, plus baby clothes, maternity wear and maternity milk, as well as baby car seat from hubby's colleagues and baby carrier from cousins... and even a baby monitor from my SIL! I think I'm truly a very very fortunate person and I am very very thankful.

18 June 2012 Last week of holidays. Had planned to go back to school everyday, but hubby's on leave today for his eye checkup (one year post-lasik) and I decided to go with him and have a day off together. Left home early in the morning feeling hungry but looking forward to a good brunch together in town... however, very unfortunately, we got involved in a traffic accident on the way to town. It was minor but I was so worried sick for my baby I cried all the way to TMC with hubby feeling super sorry... luckily baby's okay... great to see baby's heartbeats going strong on the ultrasound; it's really a relief. Now I'm grateful for every single kick that baby sends my way... it's assuring to know baby is active and sound. Had to miss his eye checkup appointment at 10am, and I was starving. Sent his car to the workshop and then had a quick breakfast of carrot cake at the hawker centre near the workshop before coming home in a cab. Did nothing but napped the whole day away the moment I'm home... Now I've just woken up and feeling hungry. It's already 6:20pm! Just ordered pizzas... now waiting for dinner to arrive.

No more off days after today! Tomorrow will be back to prepare for SEL workshop. Wednesday will be in school for a camp and staying overnight in school... until Thursday, when the camp will continue, plus there will be staff meeting in the morning and I'll be conducting the SEL workshop along with my committee members for the staff in the afternoon.  Friday will be department meeting... then school reopens already. No more rest! *sob* I'll definitely miss napping on and off everyday over the school holidays.

23 June 2012 Yes, I've survived an overnight camp in school, staff meeting, facilitating a workshop to all the staff and then department meeting and finally it's weekend again! Last weekend before school reopens T_T but I should be grateful that at least I had many restful days over the holidays. My maternity leave will officially start in week 9 of term 3... taking 2 weeks before my EDD to prepare myself, and hopefully baby will not pop too soon before I'm ready with preparing myself! Hahaha...

At my parents' place now... had 2 yummy rice dumplings, always my favourite ones since young. My mum's super yummilicious homemade dumplings! When I was a teen I could take 4 for a meal! I can do that now too if I want to, as mum's dumplings aren't big, but that will probably give me indigestion and plenty of weight gain! Haha...

Reading this book "Bringing Up Bebe" and loving it! I don't know why the book made such a big hoo-haa of the "French way" of bringing up a baby... a lot of seems very common sense to me! And as the book compare that with the "American way" of bringing up baby... I realized that's really how most Singaporeans bring up theirs too... ditching "common sense" (of allowing the baby to take "no" as an answer and discovering learning at their own pace), and rather have spoilt brats (giving in to the kid all the time) with no childhood (as many enrichment lessons as one could afford). Are we going the American way?

One very interesting fact that I read was that when parents always give in to every whimper of the kid, the parents are treating the kid like an addict. And soon the kid is addicted. At times when the parents cannot do much but to refuse, the kid gets frustrated and throw tantrums. The parents may be wanting to give all they can to the kid so that the kid is a happy kid, but a kid like this does not have a happy childhood because he gets frustrated easily. When he throws tantrums and he cries, he is frustrated and very unhappy, and that happens pretty often in a spoilt brat's life. A kid like this grows up wanting "instant gratification" but it's not really possible in the real world, so the kid continues to be frustrated easily and also gives up easily, thus hindering success. On the contrary, when parents know how to say "no" or "wait" to a kid, the kid will learn to accept no as an answer or be patient enough to wait. This kid knows how to cope with frustration, is more resilient and patient, and thus more likely to succeed in life. This is what I read in the book, do you agree? Actually I thought that was how I was actually brought up... what happened to the local parenthood scene along the way?

I don't know if I'm exactly looking forward to school reopening on Monday, but I do realize that it's the one milestone that I'd have to cross before delivering my baby girl in the late August, or early September... as I'm due on 2 September. Baby's getting really big now! So I foresee she may wanna pop out earlier for a glimpse of reality. And then it'll be too late to want it back inside the happy darkness. Baby, are you ready? You will have to learn to accept "no" as an answer, and be an independent learner who's keen to discover new things. Mummy will be here for you to guide you along the way, and you'll just have to be a good girl when mummy wants some "me" time. When I have my "me" time, you have yours too. And that's when you'll learn how to play and discover on your own. Just like mummy did when mummy was a kid.

30 June 2012 Last day of June. Went to TMC for my check this morning. Baby is doing well, in fact she's getting on the heavy side already! After that we went to Plaza Singapura to return the Starhub set top box, had lunch at the food court and then watched Madagascar. Baby was kicking when the 'move it move it' song came out at the end of the movie! Hee... Came home and finished "Bring up Bebe". It's a good read. =) Tried to nap but couldn't sleep. Hubby was sleeping soundly though. He's still sleeping now but I'm hungry so I got up to order dinner. This conversation went on just now as I disturbed him from his sleep...

Me: Dear I'm hungry...
Hubby: You go and order dinner...
Me: Pastamania?
Hubby: Okay.
Me: What you want?
Hubby: The usual.
Me: Creamy chicken?
Hubby: Mmmm...
Me: Fusilli?
Hubby: Why you say I silly?
Me: (-___-")

Haha... hope everyone's having a great weekend! I've got work to do... although it's a long weekend for me, I don't think I'll get to go back to my parents' place this weekend. Gotta settle lots of work stuff, work review, set papers etc before I go for my maternity leave some 8 weeks later!